Marriage...Is it really all it's cracked up to be???

Yeah...the title really grabbed your attention didn't it! I was having a conversation today about the many many failed marriages. Ones that have already occurred; ones in the middle of; or ones that are going to occur soon - within the lives of my friends, family, friends of friends....

It makes me so sad to think that the love people once felt, is no longer present...Please don't think I am writing this to place judgment on anyone - that is NOT my intention, at all! If I'm being honest, I have definitely been there. Marriage is TOUGH! And why/how did our parents make it look so simple? Those parents who are still together anyway....I don't think I EVER heard my parents even raise their voice to one another. So when I began my own marriage, my first 'fight' was a sure sign my marriage would never last! (In my naive opinion anyway!)

So many people won't discuss a bad or difficult marriage. It's 'easy' to put on a front in the presence of others. Others who may be watching, others who are rooting for your marriage to fail....(and why are people so mean? Probably because they know their own life is in shambles and it's reassuring to them to see it happen to other people) I think we feel like outsiders...because as far as we see, everyone else seems to 'have it all together'. Why do we fear 'what other people think'?? Why do we worry that others will be happy to see us fail in our life? From discussions, we are not alone in that thinking! I truly believe that we all think that way at one point in our marriage.

I have a testimony that would surprise many. {I will share with anyone who wants to know} And my marriage has been one heck of a journey! And this September, my husband and I will be celebrating our ten year anniversary! Did I ever feel like giving up?? YES! Who doesn't?? Am I ashamed that my marriage has not always been roses and cookies?? {haha just made that up} NOT AT ALL!! I am PROUD of the relationship we have IN SPITE of those difficult times!

During those difficult times (and I don't care HOW difficult) you HAVE to hold on to God. You have to surround yourself with reading material that builds your faith; that reminds you that God's grace will get you through. I know I've said it before about grace - what is grace? It's a definition I credit to Tonia Woolever in her book entitled "The Woman God Designed". "Grace is God's ability in us to do what we cannot do without him. It's an inward supply of his strength and ability to carry out all the decisions we are asked to make in order to please him and carry out his will." Do you need grace right now? Because guess what? You already have it!

It's so easy for me to sit here and say that a marriage is worth it, just stick with it....you'll be glad you did! I know that in the midst of a marriage that is already to the point of divorce, seeing any kind of a future is difficult! But God will always honor your commitment. He will. {Maybe not as quickly as you think he should!} So I guess today, my blog is for anyone out there who may be struggling in their marriage.

at the point when you feel like you should give up...don't....at the point when you think there's no love left...look deeper, there is...

One book I recommend - "The Love Dare" it's a great book, not necessarily to do the daily tasks it requires, but just to gain a new perspective on the true role as a spouse.....You don't have to do it together with your spouse..unless he/she is willing to also try it. But it will change your outlook on approaching the problems in your marriage relationship. There are many other books that are great too - Just please, don't give up. If you believe in God, and you believe that there is nothing satan would love more than to destroy anything that God says is good...then don't let satan win. That's what he wants. Nothing worth having is ever easy....it requires commitment, perseverance, & practice!

To those who have already experienced the pain of divorce, I don't mean to make you feel badly....but maybe I can give you perspective when entering into a new relationship. I worked at a divorce attorney's office...it's awful. It's the most difficult thing I've seen, especially when children are involved. The emotional roller coaster; the resentment; the hardness of hearts; the expense.....

So the question is, Marriage....It is really all it's cracked up to be??? YES! It has the potential to be everything you ever thought it would be! But with potential comes practice. And it will never be perfect! But just give grace a chance. See what grace can do for your life!

To you the reader.... I pray that you are forever changed with a desire to not give up on your marriage. I pray, God, that you always remind my friend of the trueness of love. That love never gives up, cares more for others than for self, doesn't want what it doesn't have, doesn't strut, doesn't have a swelled head, doesn't force itself on others, isn't always 'me first', doesn't fly off the handle, doesn't keep score of the sins of others, doesn't revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back and keeps going until the end. I ask Lord that my friend understands that you allow us to see the faults of our spouse in order for us to PRAY that you change their heart, rather than complain about those areas. {If ever you've needed praying material, here is a good start!} I pray that my friend will take possession of the role you have given and that he/she will do all things for the glory of your name. In Jesus name, Amen.